You're out and overhear a small group bragging about how much fun they had at a party.

In your mind, you wish you were in their shoes having, fun but you don't know how to socialize.

A man saying,

Feeling shy? Learn tips to help you break out of your shell so you feel more comfortable interacting with people.

1. Brainstorm Topics to Discuss

A young man in formal dress looking shy in a room.

If you think shy, you act shy.

— Afra Karim, computer scientist & Guinness World Record holder

Begin your journey by writing down common topics that everyone can relate to and speak on, without requiring too much thought.

Strengthen your confidence with these icebreaker tips:

  • Weather: current, past, or upcoming.

  • Hobbies: your favorite or least favorite one, why, and how it makes you feel.

  • Foods: which ones you love to eat the most, which ones you like to cook or would like to try in the future.

  • Destination spots: places you've visited or would like to see in the future.

Consider these conversation starters:

  • "So, what's your favorite season and why?"

  • "When you're at home or eat out, what meal do you look forward to having the most?"

  • "What's your favorite sport and who's your team?"

If you're still lost, here's another example: "So, what are your plans this weekend?"

Being prepared with questions can help you avoid feeling flustered or nervous.

2. Practice with Someone

Man saying,

The next step is transitioning from ideas to actual dialogue. The best way to start is by practicing with someone you're comfortable and familiar with.

Some ideas for role-playing partners include:

  • Close friends and acquaintances

  • Family members

  • Coworkers

  • Teachers

Use this approach as your conversation opener: "Hi, how are you doing today?"

Taking small steps regularly by practicing before you venture out on your own will help you develop the ability to engage with others in social settings.

Quiz

Samantha wants to ask her roommate to help her initiate conversations at an upcoming gathering. However, she is shy and terrified by fear of judgment and possible ridicule. How should she best approach this?

3. Start Small

Woman saying,

Maybe your family members are having a get together, or your friends are having a party celebrating birthday...taking baby steps in smaller settings will allow you to hone your skills and prepare you for interacting in other environments.

When you attend social gatherings:

  • Observe body language: pay attention to people's facial expressions and body movements. If they appear disinterested, then approach someone else.

  • Smile: people will be more likely to engage if you appear friendly.

  • Be aware of your own physical presentation: walk with confidence, with your head held high and shoulders up.

  • Make eye contact: Make sure you look someone directly in their eyes when speaking.

  • Maintain situational awareness: if the people at the social event make you uncomfortable or seem unapproachable, it's best to practice somewhere else. Don't give up!

Quiz

Suzie wants to interact with people at a party, but is overcome shyness. What option is best for her to begin having conversations?

Take Action

It's time for you to get out and let others experience the genuine you.

A man putting on black shades. The text reads:

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