You're sitting in a literature class, discussing the book Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. One of your classmates states, "obviously Elizabeth was the prejudiced character and Mr. Darcy was the prideful character."

You stare at them for a second in disbelief. How could they be so wrong? Clearly Elizabeth was prideful and Mr. Darcy was prejudiced.

You want to explain why you disagree, but you don't want to accidentally disrespect your classmate. So what do you do?

Use these four tips to make your voice heard in a class discussion while remaining respectful of your classmate.

When one of your classmates says something you disagree with, don't immediately argue against their point. Stay curious about what they're saying.

Ask them follow-up questions so you can understand their argument and where they're coming from a bit better. These might sound like:

• "I interpreted the central conflict of this story differently. What led you to your conclusion?"

• "Can you give some examples of how that approach has been harmful to people in the past? I've mostly read about the benefits."

• "Which sources helped you come to your conclusion?"

For a more in-depth look at curiosity as a conflict management superpower, check out Danya Rumore's article for The University of Utah's School of Law.

Another way to be respectful during disagreements is to use active listening strategies.

Indicate you're listening by:

• Making eye-contact

• Leaning a little towards them

• Keeping your posture open rather than crossing your arms

When you respond:

• Acknowledge what they said, even if you don't agree with it. For example, "I hear you saying you're against genetically modified crops because..."

• If you agreed with anything, acknowledge the points you agreed with.

Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

Even if you think your classmate's argument is ill-informed or even harmful, don't make your counterargument personal. Avoid insulting your classmate or questioning their character. Instead, present your argument and provide concrete evidence. Specifically address their point and any evidence they provide.

If you ever worry about how you come across in class, ask your teacher for feedback and if they have any tips.

You can even do this ahead of time by meeting with your instructor to learn about their expectations for group discussions. They may even have guidelines in their syllabus. MIT's Teaching + Learning Lab has a list of guidelines your instructor might include.

It's your turn! Prepare for your next class discussion by taking the following steps: