Over the years, I found a friend in my sister and she's been a partner in crime ever since, helping me navigate life. Growing up with a sibling is like having someone to lean on by default, hoping the trust fall is exactly how you pictured it.

What's the trick to turning a sibling into your closest ally for life? 

Alexis Rose from Schitt's Creek annoying her brother Johnny by touching him on purpose.

It was the smallest and most intentional acts that brought us closer, not the grand gestures. By creating a safe space to reach out, embracing differences, and supporting each other, we took small steps to build a long-lasting bond.

1. Empathy and patience go hand in hand

To put yourself in someone else’s shoes is to be empathetic. It's hard when you haven't experienced the same situation, but thinking about how you'd respond if it were you will help you understand the other person's perspective. It takes some patience not to immediately react, but it helps build sibling bonds.

Johnny Rose from Schitts Creek saying,

Things that helped me be more empathetic to my sibling:

  • Feeling: I tried to understand the reasons behind my sister's choices so that I could support her.

  • Listening: It takes a lot of “talking things out” to know what's bothering someone. It helps open doors to sharing things in a comfortable, safe place.

And while you’re at it, you might get to know something new about one another!

Quiz

Your sibling seems to be sad and isn't willing to discuss what's wrong. What do you do? Select all that apply:

2. The power of encouraging words

Hearing positive words boosts confidence and can help people believe in themselves and their abilities. Encouraging your sibling shows them that you notice and care about them.

When I feel underconfident about my work and doubt my capabilities, my sister always reminds me that I've done this before and can do it again. Instead of going down in self-doubt, hearing those words helps me change my perspective and believe in myself.

A boy looks sideways at a woman. The text reads:

How are encouraging words useful in a sibling relationship?

  • They can push your sibling to take risks and discover their hidden potential.

  • They could uplift their spirit when feeling low.

  • Your sibling might see a different perspective on their situation.

  • They can inspire them and build resilience to tackle challenging circumstances.

  • Your words help them know you've got their back.

Quiz

What would you say to a sibling who is struggling to learn a new skill?

3. Treat them as equals and be open to learning

In my opinion, treating your siblings like your equals is probably the most important thing.

I was the older one. However, I often feel like I've learned a lot by listening to and watching my younger sister.

For example, she's able to confront difficult situations and get things done. That's something that I admire and I still haven't perfected it like her.

Two young girls bringing their bent hands together, using the ASL sign for

They're an individual with their own life experiences which might come in handy to you. The first step is having an open mind, and the rest follows.

4. Fun times together can create a safe space to share

In all seriousness, don’t forget to have some fun!

  • Find common interests with your sibling, or try something new together and discover if you like it or not.

  • Travel together and learn how to tolerate each other.

  • Bicker, gossip, and bond over it.

Everyone has their ways to bond. Discover yours!

Two people doing a double high five and dancing right after.

5. Communication is very important

A woman and a cat have an argument about putting pineapple on pizza.

From living in the same home to living on two different continents, a lot has changed over time. Through it all, communication has been key to keeping our relationship alive.

Don’t let distance make you distant. Call up your sibling even when you have nothing to talk about, sometimes to just check up on each other. Be kind. You may not know what they're going through until they decide to share.

Take Action

Every sibling relationship is different. The dynamics change when you have more than one. But, like any relationship, it takes work.

Relationships are a work in progress and you're never old enough to learn something new. Improvise as you grow older.

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