HELP! My breakup didn't go well — how do I handle running into my ex?

Bumping into your ex in public can feel like a plot twist you didn’t ask for.

Whether it’s in a coffee shop, a class, or just walking down the street, it can make your heart race and not in a good way.

Especially if the breakup didn’t end on good terms, those unexpected encounters can stir up lots of mixed emotions.

So what do you do when your past suddenly shows up in the present?

Seeing an ex out of nowhere? Most of us don’t handle it like movie stars. Here’s what usually happens:

• Avoid them completely 💨

• Freeze or panic 😳

• Give a quick, awkward “hey” 😬

• Pretend to be super happy (even if you’re not) 😁

No shame! It’s a weird moment for everyone. But if you want to keep it graceful and stay cool, here’s how. 👇

Step 1: Spot them? Breathe first! 😮‍💨

Before reacting, take a breath. Give yourself 2 seconds to center your thoughts before making a decision. It can help prevent panic or impulse reactions.

Step 2: Ask yourself: Do I need to engage? 🤔

If you're not face-to-face or being directly approached, it's totally okay to keep walking. Not every encounter needs a response. Protecting your peace isn’t rude, it's smart.

Step 3: If they see you, be polite but quick. 👋

You don’t have to say anything, but if you make eye contact and feel a response is needed, a quick nod or simple “hi” works — noneed to stop or chat. Keep walking with confidence! This keeps it respectful without making things awkward.

Step 4: Don’t fake it or overdo it. 😅

Avoid pretending to be overly happy or unaffected if you're not. Be real, but stay calm. Acting fake may make you feel worse later.

Step 5: If they try to talk…set a boundary. 🛑

You can say: “Hey, it's not the right time, but I hope you’re well.” Then move on. That’s classy and firm.

Step 6: Take a moment after you walk away. 🌬️

Whether the run-in was smooth or awkward, take a moment to regroup. Call a friend, listen to music, or take a deep breath. That moment doesn't define you.

Step 7: Be proud of your growth! 💪

Reacting with grace shows you’ve moved forward, even if the breakup wasn’t easy. This is about your healing, not how your ex feels.

You might not always feel calm in the moment, but practicing these steps helps you stay classy and protect your peace.

Next time, you'll feel more prepared! No panic, just presence. 💖

Further reading:

• Breakups are hard! 7 steps to break up with your partner will give you some advice on how to do it.

• Breakups can bring up a lot of emotions, especially if things didn’t end well. If you’re still processing the aftermath, this Byte on the 5 stages of grief after a breakup breaks it down with science-backed insight. You’re not alone, and healing is a journey.

• The article Your Brain's Response to Your Ex, According to Neuroscience will help you understand the science behind your feelings.