How do I respond to "the silent treatment" from a narcissist?

It's happened AGAIN!

You're in the middle of a conversation with that friend or family member (you know who!) — the one who is so narcissistic that the conversation always revolves around them.

And goodness, if the conversation doesn't go their way, they turn their back on you and give you the silent treatment, thinking that'll show you and somehow give them some sort of control over you.

It's so frustrating! How are you supposed to respond to that level of narcissism?

When someone tries to manipulate you with silence, you can respond with calm confidence and maintain your dignity by staying grounded in your own worth and refusing to chase after them.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a "pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy."

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Narcissists are manipulative and self-centered. Understanding this helps explain why they use tactics like the silent treatment. They don't ignore you because they need space, they do it to control your emotions and keep power in the relationship.

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It's one of their favorite manipulation tactics, and it's meant to make you chase after their approval.

They withdraw and refuse to talk to you for a period of time. This is different from someone who needs a little space to think things through and tells you that's what they need.

Common reasons a narcissist uses the silent treatment are:

• To punish you by making you feel like you did something wrong, so you'll apologize over and over and beg for their forgiveness

• To wait you out until you give in and do what they want

• To feel powerful by watching you struggle for their attention

The silent treatment is a power trip at its worst!

• Calmly disengage. Remaining calm and removing yourself from the situation allows you to keep control of your emotions and gives you the power.

• Give them space. This gives you some space, too. You won't be around for them to try to manipulate, so they no longer have power.

• Set a boundary. Decide how long you're willing to tolerate being ignored. After a day or two, reach out one time to say you're open to talking when they're ready, then move on with your life. Meme created by author

• Invest in yourself. Spend time with other loved ones, start a new hobby, commit to your health and fitness, etc. This keeps your mind busy and gives you time to realize how life and people are really supposed to be.

• Evaluate the relationship. Is the relationship healthy if this is a pattern that continues? You deserve people who won't punish you with silence. It may be time to end the relationship.

• Chase after them. This validates their manipulative tactic and shows them that the silent treatment works because they're getting what they want: your desperation.

• Beg for attention. Begging hands them complete control and feeds their ego. They know they can make you feel worthless by ignoring you, which gives them all the power.

• Text them repeatedly. Texting the one who hurt you repeatedly chips away at your self-worth and makes you look unstable. They're doing nothing, while you're punishing yourself, which is what they want.

• Apologize. Never apologize when you've done nothing wrong. Over time, this will lead you to believe that you're the problem.

• Allow yourself to be pulled back into the cycle. Letting them back in shows them they can hurt you emotionally over and over without any consequences.

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Your narcissistic friend hasn't responded to your texts for days after a minor disagreement. What's the best first step?

A. Send multiple messages explaining your side and asking what you did wrong.

B. Give them space while continuing your normal routine and activities.

C. Reach out to their other friends to find out what's going on.

D. Post on social media, hoping they'll see it and respond.

Remember, choosing peace over chaos isn't giving up, it's choosing yourself. Sometimes, the most powerful response to someone's silence is the sound of you walking away.